B left early last Thursday for a meeting in Detroit and then had plans to meet up with friends in Virginia for a canoeing/camping trip in an area he simply described as “on a river with a heavy bear population”. I tried not to think too much about the bears and looked forward to a weekend on my own. I woke up to a beautiful Friday and spent most of my day planning and list-making to insure I had a fun and productive break but by mid-afternoon I wasn’t feeling well. After feeding the dogs and playing for a bit in the backyard, I changed into pajamas, grabbed a stack of unread magazines and crawled under the covers. The sun hadn’t even set yet and I was tucked in bed like an elderly. It wasn’t until Saturday morning that it hit me – I had come down with a giant case of the SADZ. I felt hideous and the mere idea of going out in public brought me to tears. I tossed my to-do list in the garbage and went back to bed.
Thankfully, I had kept my plans to meet a friend for dinner Saturday night and by the time I made it home, the emotional exhaustion had faded. For three hours I didn’t have to think about the baby blues, soon becoming another year older or all of the truly tragic things happening in the world. I declared the pity party over and spent the remainder of the weekend doing things that made me happy. I shopped for an upcoming mini-vacation, gave myself a manicure, got caught up on Mad Men and enjoyed a generous serving of my favorite gelato.
While I feel shameful for wasting away in bed dwelling on my imperfections and losing sight of what is good, I believe that sometimes you just have to throw a hissy fit in order to make things right in your heart. Just make sure you do it in the privacy of your own home…